The WAG Code of Conduct

It’s not easy being a WAG. No, really, it isn’t. Whether the WAG happens to be an established celebrity or just your average girl-next-door every one of them will get the undivided attention of the paparazzi if snapped on a footballers arm. While some embellish this, purchasing hair extensions and rapidly shrinking size before the camera, others don’t.

To many the label ‘WAG’ is considered a swear word and they’d much prefer to shrink away from the camera. Whatever reaction they may have to their new-found status of WAG they must learn to follow the rules of the WAGs in order to survive.

Keep hold of your man. Any good WAG will know the importance of being on the ball. Sporting stars are vulnerable to those who will make a sport out of them; legendary predator Rebecca Loo’s should be enough of a warning. WAGs should be constantly on guard for their man playing away, maybe overly suspicious, perhaps a little distrusting, but if Golden Balls can do it, any man can. Cheryl Cole was one of the unfortunate who fully believed her player wouldn’t be a player. But all it takes is one simple equation. Too much champagne + attractive blonde = infidelity. With an athletic physique and wads of cash these males have more potential than average men to get laid. WAGs should keep sharpened manicured nails if they don’t want their man to play away.

Prepare for fashion battle. WAGs at a match have planned what to wear more than the players have discussed team tactics. Guaranteed these girls will be cheering the lads on with fresh faces preened curls and oversized handbags. For those who feel like an outcast in the WAGs presence the simple code is as follows; to get in with the crowd you have to dress like Girl’s Aloud. A baggy footy shirt over a pair of jeans will not quite cut it unless you’re trying to embarrass the WAG crew. Girls who need guidance should look to WAG Queen Mrs Victoria Beckham herself. Bronzed with not an inch of cellulite in sight Victoria can always put the rest to shame. Modeling a pout and keeping a composed posture at all costs she shows how you can put an interest in football without having to be interested in it. Being fashionable is a must, but WAGs are not to upstage their Queen. Any Jodie Marsh attempts at hitting headlines in an outrageous dress or with a new boob job will only end in isolation. WAGs: know your limits!

Get your own career. Yes, even WAGs are now expected to work. We have moved on from the Cave WAG days where they were merely ladies of leisure who looked attractive next to a famous footballer. WAGs are now in business battling it out to show their worth. Launches of perfumes, work-out videos, charity campaigns and modeling show your modern day WAG earning her own little wager on the side. An independent WAG is truly a happy one. If Coleen ever fancies the day of leaving Rooney she can, with her own self-built empire she has earned a celebrity status in her own right. Coleen has launched her own clothing range at George at Asda, written her own autobiography, done much charity work for The Rett Syndrome Association, presents reality TV show Coleen’s Real Women, regularly writes a column for Closer and hosted plenty of fashion awards. Her counterpart however, can only kick a ball. Education is an important tool to any WAG if they don’t want their knowledge to be limited to shopping. Many WAGs has lead good examples to young girls with achieving high grades and qualifications at school. Emma Hadfield, wife of Gary Neville, is a student in holistic therapy and Stewart Downing’s former flame Michaela Henderson-Thynne is studying for a degree in law. Good work WAGs!

Stay strong in the face of a scandal. The media are ruthless; any dark secret they can drag from your past will be brought out in broad daylight and flogged. Any naïve statement will be plastered all over the news the next day. Lesson? Tred with caution. Danielle Lloyd got accused of cheating in Miss Great Britain 2006 after letting slip to Eve magazine that she had been dating footballer and judge of contest Teddy Sheringham. D’oh! The media backlash was not pretty, with headlines accusing Danielle of being “Miss Cheat Britain.” Not a good one for your CV. Danielle was stripped of her crown in November 2006 – nine months after winning. The air was cleared however after a court case where the interview was said to be misunderstood. Though it ends well, it still seems like a load of tiaras and tears over nothing. You would have thought after the terrible ordeal of losing her beauty crown Danielle would learn to be wary when it came to the press. Nope. The former Miss Britain put her stiletto heel in it again by appearing on Celebrity Big Brother. Being accused of racism alongside Jade Goody and Jo O’Meara towards the Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty Danielle had only managed to put herself in the stocks once again. If there was ever a WAG not to follow this would be the one ladies!